Off Switch

Thoughts racing but to where as there is no finish line in sight. Raching in my mind in every direction or could thebe chasing? is it me, my past or my future? Chasing what, chasing whom? Is it me, my past or my future? Will my thoughts ever get tired, run out of breath or develop vertigo. It seems as I age they gain momentum. Racing around like the millions of people in New Tork City during rush hour. Will I ever get a chance to sit and let my mind go blank or am I trapped in my thoughts?

How many others think like I do? I can't be the only one who doesn't have an off switch.

I'm Back....

So I took the blog down for awhile because I was searching for employment and I didn't want my name to pop if an employer did a search for me.

Well guess what, last week I started a new job. This was after 7 months of being laid off. I have to say it is with a company that I really like, the people are great and I love being on an active site again. If you don't know, I am in the construction field.

So now I am back, refreshed and better then ever. I realize how truly blessed I am and how much I really have to be thankful for. Seven months and being able to maintain not only my sanity but how I live my life just makes me know how blessed I am.

So here we go again...

Bummed...

Friday I went on an interview and I really wanted this job. I got the call today that I was simply overqualified for the position. This really bums me out because even though it was an entry level position, it paid pretty well and it had room for a lot of advacement.

I was told that it is going to be okay and I truly know it is. I just hate that I oversold myself in the interview even though I was told not to by the recruiter. Sigh. Today is day 113 of being unemployed and I am dying to get back into the work force.

I am just really bummed.

When You Have A Gut Feeling...

It is normally right! Why does it work that way?

I had a situation where my gut was telling me something and no matter how hard I didn't want to believe it and how many times I was told that it wasn't true, after a bit of good research on my part...it is true. And my gut knew it the entire time.

How is it that your gut knows this? What is it that makes you know the truth in the deepest pit of your stomach. And how is it that we as people can take that feeling and push it aside hoping for another answer.

When am I going to learn to trust my gut and not let these people into my life? Now I just have to remind myself not to let this person into my personal life. Sigh. Why can't it be easier? Why does this person want to make it this complicated?

It Has Been Awhile...

I have been out of the blogging world for awhile now and it is because I have been laid off and I don't want to publish anything due to the fact that I don't want a place of potential employment to come across this blog.

I figured that I would continue to write my posts though and when I find employment make my blog visible to the world again...so I write this for myself.

2010 is going to be a year of one big goal for me...to get back into shape. This one will be a little tricky for me though until I get my HUGE tattoo finished. I am 18 hours into it and only have about 6 hours left...yay! And no, I will not be posting any images on my blog. All I will say it covers my ENTIRE left rib cage and 1/3 of my back. It is all sunflower heads and is truly beautiful. It was done by the ever talented Trevor Collis at Iron Age in the Loop. While getting my massive back piece, I can't work out for two weeks after each session and right now we are having sessions every two to three weeks. So that put my next day in the gym on January 27th and than my next session is February 3rd. See my problem!

I would like to drop at least 25 pounds in 2010. I would love to lose around 40 pounds. I know it isn't about inches, etc., but let's just day I would love to be a size 6 on December 31, 2010. It isn't a lofty goal....but still one I will have to really work at and I have never really had to work at my weight...welcome to my 30's! :)

I am still on the hunt for a job. I went on an interview on Friday and even though it is a big pay cut it is something that I believe I would enjoy doing and is a foot in the door at a great company. So I know you aren't reading this, but please cross your fingers for me. It would be a great boost for me to land this position and get back to work.

My Mirena

A couple weeks ago I went to my doctor to get the Mirena IUD. I had heard mixed reviews about it but I thought for the cost of my co-pay why not have birth control for 5 years? $20 for 5 years of birth control, I think that is the best deal I have come across in a long time.

Oh Joy

So the upcoming weekend is one that I am dreading. J's best friend is getting married...for the second time. This upcoming Saturday is the bachlor party. It isn't so much that I mind the bachelor party and all that jazz, but I am wondering why for #2. That part I just don't get. I mean J didn't get one because we were married in Hawaii so no one bothered, which still kind of ticks me off but that is a different subject entirely.

So I am not a stickler for bachelor parties at all. I really think guys should go out and have a great time like us women do. And trust me I had a BALL on mine. So J told me the planand it was along the long of golf than back for a poker tourney that involved a lot of drinking. His friend really ins't a bar or strip club kind of guy so no biggie. J mentioned crashing over there since he will more than likely be drunk. I would rather him be safe than out on the road after drinking so all things are good on that front...for the time being.

Well, this guys' fiance is having her party on the same nite. She and all of her girlfriends are going out to bars to get trashed and do gods know what else besides drink if you catch my drift.
I have always had a problem with this woman, (bac k story) she tried to hook J up with one of her friends (who he was seeing before he and I started dating)right when J and I moved into together. This was after she asked me how our relationship was going and if I was serious about him etc. I told her that I was very happy and that we were actually living together. Guess what happened later that nite when I left...she tried to hook him up with her friend. That pissed me off to no end right there and I have never really been able to see past that from now on because you just don't do that to someone.

So J tells me her plan and that she is going to have her girls spend the nite at the house as well. Big red flag just went up for me. I asked him if Ms. X is going to be there and he said he didn't know but maybe.

I am sorry I just don't feel comfortable with J spending the nite at his friends house with a bunch of drunk women there not to mention that one of them the bride to be tried to hook him up with not caring that he had a live in girlfriend at the time.

Am I sounding pyscho or should I put my foot down on this one? And by putting my foot down I mean I would pick him up from the party around midnite or so.

What would you do?

Do I Make You Sick?

I am wondering if it is people like me that make you sick. Why you may ask, because I am already Christmas shopping. Yep, you heard me right. I already have a decent amount of presents bought to go underneath my big beautiful tree on December 25th.

I once had a woman tell me that people like myself just make her sick. I wonder why. Seriously though, shopping year round so has it's advantages. You get to hit every sale for an entire year and pick things up here and there that would cost you full price during the season. Why would I spend $80 on that Abercrombie sweater for my newphew when I can get it for $19.99? I just think it is smart shopping.

Plus once the end of October rolls around I am noremally 100% done and I can sit back and enjoy the holidays the way they are supposed to be enjoyed. Meaning not fighting traffic and malls with crazy people trying to score the best deals. No thank you.

So my question to you is does it repluse you that there are people like me that shop year round for Christmas? If so, why.

Boots

Oh it is almost fall again and with fall comes amazing boots. I love boots. Seriously what woman doesn't?

I have been eyeing these beauties for a year now. They are UGGs and I am very curious to see if they would be as comfortable as my pair of UGGs.















Right now VS is have 20% off all boots, one word for ya...HOLLA! Here are some that I love.

Super cute but $450



































Digging the gray ones.


































While J and I were at Macy's the other day I ran across these. Now everyone keep in mind that I am a country girl at heart. :) I just love the slouch in them. I was promptly told no and quickly escorted out of the shoe department. Boo.

One Word HOT

So over the weekend I went to see GI Joe. I don't know what it is about action filsm that I love, maybe it is the actions films from my childhood because I am a big fan of the Transformers movies as well.

I am also a HUGE fan of Channing Tatum and if you thought he was hot in Step Up (where I fell in love with him, too bad his wife did as well) you will drool during GI Joe.

I Thought Nothing Would Be Different

Seriously, I thought turning 30 wouldn't be any different than any other birthday. And while it is nothing huge, just saying that I am 30 is going to take some getting use to I have come to find out.

I wasn't a the kind of person to dread being 30. I actually looked at it as something to embrace and look forward to. It is a whole new chapter in my life and it is going to be an amazing one for sure. But the first time that someone asks me how old I am and I have to say 30, it will feel different.

I don't feel old, I don't look old and I know I am not old and I know that thirty isn't even old. Afterall, thirty is the new twenty.

I think it hit me yesterday while I was at the movies (by the way GI Joe is amazing) when I was going back to my seat and I noticed a guy checking me out, great boost for the ego right there. I thought, hmmmm, he looks like he is in his twenties and I wonder if he even realizes he is eyeing a thirty year old. HA! How insane right?!? Yea, but that is how I roll.

So here is to another thirty years!! Holla.

You Have Been Outdone...

Don't you hate that when you put something out there and you are just so proud of it and than BAM someone goes and takes it to the next level.

On July 19th a video was posted on YouTube of a wedding party making their entrance to the church. For me it really wasn't anything I would do or even cared for but hey it worked for them and that is all that really matters. If you haven't seen it yet here it is:




So some people got together and saw how much play this was getting and guess what, they outdid you with a spoof on your wedding entrance and di your divorce entrance:



That spoof is close to being SNL worth. My better dancers!

A Big Day Coming Up

This weekend I have a big day that is really planned or anything, it will just come upon me. I will be turning 30 on Sunday! Go me, it will be my birthday!

I am not freaking out about 30 at all. Actually I am looking forward to it. I am going to do a few things different in my next thirty years. I am going to simplfy my life. I don't need to live large at home like I do now. I want to see the rest of the world that I haven't seen, so there it is. That is what I plan on doing for my next thirty years...travel. I don't care where to. If I need my Passport than that is always a major plus. Besides I am 30 and I have more than I could want material wise, a great house and nice car. What more do I really need?

J called me today to tell me that I was getting old (granted he is 4 years older than me) and I truly don't view it that way. I honestly think I am just hitting my prime. Scary, isn't it. I don't look or feel like I should be 30. So boo ya on that one. :)

So bring it on 30, I am looking forward to you and what you have in store for me.

Vick should be banned for life...

I say this simply because firest and foremost I am a baseball fan. Michael Vick committed a horrible crime. He ran a fighting dog outfit! They even had bait dogs (smaller dogs that are put into the rings so the fighters can kill those dogs and get an ego boost).

I hear a lot of NFL players being interviewed saying his plenty has been harsh enough and that he should come back to football and no team should worry about the stigma that he may carry with him for now because he is a great player. Hmmmm, I wonder why MLB hasn't taken that stand with Pete Rose.

You know Pete Rose right, the guy who got kicked out of MLB FOR LIFE because he bet on baseball (he did bet on his team to win) even though he is the all time leader in hits, games playes, at bats and outs. Not only was he kicked out of baseball for life, MLB has also made this man of many accomplishments permanently ineligible for the Hall of Fame.

So as a baseball fan, it baffles me that Vick is not only being allowed to play in the NFL shortly after his release from prison but is being welcomed back by the members of the NFL with open arms. Are you kidding me?!?!

It just goes to show me who has higher standards when it comes to pro sports. I say sure let Vick back into the NFL, after he is used as bait for a fighting dog...several times over.

Give me an I...give me a U....give me a D

What's that spell...IUD!

First off you have to know my stance on children...I don't want any. Now qait a minute befor eyou start judging and all that other BS that comes from a woman saying that she doesn't want to have kids...ever. I don't judge the women that want to be mothers. I don't look at them and ask why they want to be a mom. They have their reasons, just like I have mine.

So I decided to get an IUD put in. YAY! This means no pills, rings, patches, etc., for 5 years! Yes, 5 whole years. Woot. Than after those 5 years I can get another one no problem. You have to love a 5 year birth control plan. Best yet, it is covered by my insurance and is put in during just an office visit, which means everything will only cost me $20 out of pocket. Holla!!

The one bad thing about an IUD (please stop reading is you are grossed out easily) is that they have to be put in while you are on your period. Yes, this grosses me out even. I mean seriously as a woman that is the one time of the month you avoid going to your OBGYN and you just want me to hop up in those stirrups and be like alright let's do this while I am on my period. Ewwwwww. But if that is what I have to do, than so be it.

But here is the Catch 22...your doctor is going out on vacation for a week when you call to schedule your appointment (don't call until you have your first day appointment). Ugh. This frustrates me a little that I have to wait another month to get my IUD but I am sure it will be worth it in the end. Holla.

Fall is Quickly Becoming My Favorite Season

It truly use to be Summer. I love St. Louis Cardinals baseball, the warmth, the riding with the windows open the feeling of freedom even though I don't have Summer vacations anymore.

Now as I am approaching 30 I am starting to learn that I am probably more of a Fall kind of girl. What changed my mind? One word for you, sweat.

The past couple of years I have noticed a change with my body, once I get hot and start sweating I really can't shut if off. I sweat like a freaking pig and that is not cool in the least. I have read that is actually a medical thing. I may have overly active sweat glands.

I am going to see my dermtologist tomorrow and will have her give me her opinionand if needed I will provide proof. Oh yes, I do have proof...pictures. Ahhhh!

Segement

So I love shopping! Anyone that knows me can tell you that. I also love finding new places to shop to get gifts, etc. So as I come along deals, cool gifts, or just plain witty items, I am going to start posting them in my blog.

So here is today's clever thing. It is very fitting for a Christmas gift for a woman that can be descibed as a bad girl with good intentions (I know nothing of that at all). I think it would make a great Christmas present for a certain someone, because I know we all know this woman! Laugh.



















This item is on sale at Femail Creations for just $24!

Must Get Back Into the Gym

Alright I have slacked all this week about the gym and this weekend is going to be a turning point for me. I didn't go to the gym once this week. Shame on me. So on Saturday and Sunday I do plan on going. My goal is always to get into the gym 3 days a week for 30 minutes of good cardio. If I do Saturday and Sunday that will be two days so I won't feel like that big of a slacker. Ugh!

I am thinking of changing my diet as well. I eat horribly. Seriously, a lot of junk food, etc. I remember when I drank 1 soda a day at lunch, now I am up to about 4 a day. Blah. So I will start working on that as well.

Let's see how much weight I can drop off of me with changing up my diet a bit. Any suggestions and thoughts would greatly be apprecited.

I want to know why...

Someone would refuse to shake our President's hand.



Maybe I am hoping for the best here with this man and out country but at least have some damn respect. I feel bad just watching this.

What a Weekend of Movies Does.

I made up my mind to stay and watch movies this weekend since I bought Farm Aid tickets this past Friday and well that blew some cash right there.

What happens when I stay in to watch movies, I think too much. No I really do. Last nite at 11:30pm I put in Into the Wild. It is an amazing movie if you have no seen it and while it leaves so many questions on how things should have been done differently in a man's life so he could live, it really nailed a few points. It is a true story by the way.

One thing I took from this movie is that I truly haven't lived through enough to find my true happiness. I have been happy in my life that is for sure. I have met some amazing people in my life and seen some truly beautiful places and have been blessed. That I can't deny for a second. But to say that I have found my true happiness, that took some thinking. I have come to find that I have not.

Why have I not yet found it? Have I not lived enough or don't have the years under me that I can know what it is to be truly happy? Have I been too blessed or given too much in life?

Will I ever venture into the situation where I will stumble across my true happiness? Am I daring enough to take those kind of chances in my life? I am not sure. I say that because there are quite a few different things that I would do differntly in my life if I could go back and do again. That is another story all together though. Maybe one that will be told shortly.

Have you found your true happiness in life. The one thing you can go back to over and over and over again and each time you go an revisit it, you fall in love with it all over again. Amazing thought isn't it? Oh to find it in my life becuase without it, well that would be a sad life, one that is not complete.